How to Make Holiday Sex Feel Playful Again

Holiday sex is an opportunity to slow down and make sexual connection feel like a game—not another item on your itinerary.

Instead of heading straight toward penetration, explore how playful you can be. Spend 20 minutes touching, kissing, or gently nibbling anywhere except the chest or groin. Make out slowly as if you’ve just met—but choose somewhere other than your room. Meet at a new location, flirt, and pretend you’re picking each other up for the first time.

Timing matters, too. Rather than waiting until after a big dinner or an exhausting day, prioritize sleep and create space earlier. Take a long shower together and slowly wash each other from head to toe.

Most importantly, sex isn’t a “should”—it’s a “can.” Make intentional time when sexual connection is an option, with both partners agreeing that there will be no pressure or guilt.

Try creating a “sexy menu” together, with choices ranging from cuddling and soft forehead kisses to making out, massage, oral sex, or penetration. You can each share what sounds appealing in the moment.

And remember: if someone isn’t hungry for penetration, it doesn’t have to be on the menu that night. There are plenty of other delicious ways to connect.