Articles by Abby

I'm a licensed marriage and family therapist, and I help people in relationships who feel disconnected from their partners. One of the most common experiences clients describe is emotional neglect. Unlike criticism, betrayal, or explosive conflict, emotional neglect is often defined by what isn't happening. It is the absence of emotional responsiveness. Many people describe it as a pattern that develops gradually over months or years. A partner may consistently minimize, dism

Honored to be quoted as a Certified Sex Therapist in an Upworthy article on why so many adults worry about their libido. One point I shared is that social media, pornography, and other forms of entertainment—not education—can create distorted expectations about what sexual desire "should" look like, especially in long-term relationships. Desire is personal, dynamic, and influenced by stress, health, parenting, and the many seasons of life. Thank you to Upworthy for including

When people hear the phrase sexual stamina, they often think it means one thing: lasting longer during sex. As a Certified Sex Therapist, I can tell you that sexual stamina is much more than that. True sexual stamina isn't just about maintaining an erection or delaying orgasm. It's about staying emotionally present, physically comfortable, mentally engaged, and connected to pleasure throughout a sexual experience. It's about being able to stay regulated in your nervous system

Women don't need men anymore That sentence often makes people uncomfortable, but it isn't anti-men. It isn't anti-love. It isn't anti-marriage. It's about freedom—the freedom to choose a relationship because it adds to your life, not because your survival depends on it. As a couples therapist and Certified Sex Therapist, I've spent years helping individuals and couples build healthier, more fulfilling relationships. One of the biggest cultural shifts I've witnessed is what ma

As a Certified Sex Therapist, Gottman-trained couples therapist, and therapist who has spent more than 13 years in private practice, I wasn't surprised to hear from a recent study that about half of adults worry about their libido or sexual desire. In many ways, this is simply human nature. We naturally compare ourselves to others as a way of evaluating our own experiences and choices. Wondering whether your relationship or sex life is "normal" is incredibly common. The more

The transition to college is a major milestone for any young person. For neurodiverse students, including students with ADHD, that transition can come with both exciting opportunities and very real challenges. As a therapist who specializes in ADHD, relationships, and family systems — and as someone who also has lived experience with ADHD — I often think about how important it is for parents to look beyond the simple question of, “Did my child get into college?” or “Did my ch

When we talk about sexual desire, we often focus on hormones, attraction, relationship satisfaction, stress, or communication. All of those matter. But for clients with ADHD, there are a few additional dynamics that can deeply shape desire, intimacy, and sexual connection. Two concepts I often think about are Pathological Demand Avoidance and Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria. These are not formal diagnoses in the DSM, but they can be helpful frameworks for understanding how ne

AI is moving quickly into the mental health space. More people are turning to tools like ChatGPT for emotional support, relationship advice, anxiety, stress, and even questions about symptoms. But what does that actually mean for therapy, clinicians, and clients? I recently joined Kealy Spring, LMFT, on Therapeutically Aligned Roundtables for a clinician-led conversation on this exact topic: “AI Therapy: What Clinicians Actually Think — Benefits, Risks & Reality.” I was joine

One of the biggest shifts I try to help people make is moving away from thinking about sex as something you perform well or poorly. That mindset sneaks in so easily, with people wondering if they’re good enough, if they’re doing the right things, or if their partner is satisfied. But that framing misses the point entirely. A more useful way to think about sex is like sharing a meal together. If you were making dinner for someone, you wouldn’t just start cooking without checki

There’s a pattern many ADHD adults quietly recognize: the relationships that feel the strongest often hurt the most. This pattern doesn’t come from poor judgment. It comes from misinterpreting emotional intensity as emotional depth. Why Intensity Feels Magnetic Unpredictable partners create a cycle of anticipation and relief. That cycle produces dopamine, urgency, and hyperfocus. The body experiences: anticipation as excitement anxiety as attraction uncertainty as depth The r

When people hear about ADHD medication, they often imagine it as a switch that suddenly turns chaos into clarity. Focus improves. Productivity skyrockets. Life falls into place. That expectation is understandable, but it isn’t how ADHD treatment actually works. Medication can be incredibly helpful. For many people, it’s life-changing. But it doesn’t replace the skills and habits needed to manage daily responsibilities. Understanding what medication can and can’t do is one o

By Abby Neuberg, Certified Sex Therapist Many women come to me wondering why their sexual desire has change or why it feels difficult to access at all. One of the first things I share is this: desire isn’t something you either “have” or “don’t have.” It’s responsive. It’s shaped by context, emotional connection, stress levels, and how safe and supported your body feels. There is nothing “wrong” with you if desire feels unpredictable. In fact, most women experience desire in r

Sleep disturbances after having a baby are rooted in a mix of biological, hormonal, and behavioral factors. Understanding these connections can help reduce self-blame and guide more compassionate approaches to improving rest. 1. Behavioral Conditioning and Hyperreactivity After childbirth, many women develop a strong behavioral association between sleep and vigilance. The brain becomes highly reactive to small sounds or movements, which is an adaptive response to a newborn’s

a compass People with ADHD often use a wide mix of supports to help manage focus, organization, and emotional regulation. These can range...

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If you live with ADHD, you’ve probably asked yourself this question more than once: Why can’t I just start the thing?! You know the task...

If you’re someone who gets overwhelmed in noisy environments—whether due to sensory processing issues, neurodivergence, or just plain...

In my previous article, It’s Not Always Body Doubling, Sometimes It’s Drafting: Why Working Side by Side with Somebody Helps Get Things...

For many people with ADHD, starting a task can feel like trying to push a car stuck in mud. You know where you want to go, you know what...

By Abby Neuberg The Overlap No One Talks About ADHD in women has been under-recognized for decades. While boys are often diagnosed young...